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Show Perhaps, like me, she had both resented and loved him, wanting to be closer, yet not knowing how and in desperation, killed him. Perhaps she had become involved in the group, smitten by his charisma cap-s^ae-other-,-less-gentile man and had been unable to bear the weight of her own mistakes, her - own decisions and so had blamed him, her bitterness building until she must do something. As I had done. But he had never qualified as a tyrant, not really. The line between aspiring to godhood and actually believing yourself to be a god is as fine and yet as distinct as the division between waking and sleeping. Then it came to me. Ervil LeBaron believed himself to be The One Mighty and Strong, ordained to usher in the Millenium. He believed his position made him divine executioner of God's law. If God had His executioners, then certainly Ervil would believe in having his. He had sent teenaged boys and girls to throw -.--.. molotov cocktails at the homes of Church of the First Born members. Certainly, he would not pull the trigger himself, but would send a woman to do it - that would throw everyone, even me, into quandry trying to determine motive. I thought bitterly of the paradox before me. In attempting to reclaim my past, I had written and spoken admantly of a person's right to free religious practice, claiming that in he pursuit of happiness, beliefs must be lived and dreans be possible to guard against a schizophrenia of belief and behavior, of thought and feeling, of dream and reality. Now my father had died because of another man's religious beliefs. - _ . . .::-. Where was the line to guard against violence and violation? My throbbing head gave no answer until to\ |