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Show bloW cherish babies because they are so close to the Creator, that they could be called back to Him a t anytime, should we show t h a t we are undeserving of the p r e c i o u s g i f t of a l i t t l e l i f e . . My father had always courted l i t t l e b a b i e s , as though they had some special influence with Heavenly Father, as though t h e i r recommendations were worth more than the p r a i s e and f l a t t e r y of grown-ups. I had not summoned the courage to have him d e l i v e r t h i s baby, e i t h e r , and now as I watched him get acquainted with her, making her h i s own, By heart ached numbly as of a limb t h a t has f a l l e n asleep and now awakens as l i f e rushes too f r e e l y i n t o i t s pinched c o r r i d o r s. As always i n my f a t h e r ' s presence, I f e l t smaller, shorter, diminished. I wondered i f he had t h i s effect on o t h e r s , if everyone felt loat in Uis shadow ur as brighrfc andAnecessary as a candle was in the# noonday sunshine. Perhaps that^why Saul and Jake and Danny had each r e j e c t e d h i s way, h i s path, h i s b e l i e f s . Each had need of i n d i v i d u a l i t y , of p e r s o n a l i n t e g r i t y . Each needed to discover himself and could not do so i n my f a t h e r ' s presence, for he outshined and overrode everyone. Even now, with my new inner vow to dm&wtcp •- he seemed l a r g e r than l i f e to me, a colossus spanning the gap between us, reaching across £&£*B of resentment and chasms of time. My emotional s t a p l e s of s e l f - r e l i a n c e, Personal dignity, and purposeful womanhood seemed to tremble l i ke greening f r u i t beset by a g a l e . Guilt and f e a r and confusion sprouted ii*e f e r t i l i z e d weeds. He was l i k e a l a r g e , old oak, allowing nothing togrow beneath h i s v a s t , spreading limbs - more fulsome than the »; his eum. wSgyback p l a n t , r e p e l l i n g evenAscions. Why did I quake i n s i d e , as though facing God on Judgement Day? ^ e was 7 recently-won s t r e n g t h ? Where was. the childhood part o f * that had been comfortable on h i s lap or walking beside him, holding |