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Show CtcO •You know y o u ' r e not to eat u n t i l dinnertime, ' my father said. He glanced quickly a t the b r e t h r e n . He must have known how they watched him, to follow h i s example. •But Mama s a i d I could have i t , ' Danny whined. My f a t h e r ' s face flushed darkly. 'You know b e t t e r , ' my father said, and kicked him a g a i n . 'Get into the house.' My father had spent very l i t t l e time with Danny, except alongside fishing holes with h i s other sons. My f a t h e r had been so Danny in prison when Danny was born, Aa»4 had not been delivered by him. From the time he was t i n y , Danny had been mildly hyperactive, always curious, always i m p e r t i n e n t and confident. And yet my f a t h e r had given so l i t t l e guidance, so l i t t l e i n d i v i d u a l a t t e n t i o n to -S& young Danny. Danny was one of the three boys," a p a r t of a whole. Mo person can be only p a r t of something. One must be p a r t of something and yet be able to stand a p a r t . That was a r i g h t , to be both an individual and an accepted p a r t of a group. It wasn't something that birth or circumstances can or should abrogate! Love without understanding poured i n t o me, f i l l i n g my heart to tensile s t r e n g t h . He must be h u r t i n g , too, in some way I could not understand, f e e l i n g so small and fragmented that he believed that human beings are motivated only by i n s e c u r i t y . I began to "eep, s i l e n t l y , not wanting them to hear me. They would only ^understand my c r y i n g . 'Oh, God,' I whispered. "Forgive him. I thought of Danny and of Brian, of wars raging inside them. I d i d n ' t want to go back to the livingroom to face them. »>at could I say? How could I t e l l them what l i t t l e I understood about the f r e n e t i c motion of our l i v e s , a l l of us caught in fusion, t h i n k i n g we dangled f r e e l y , but bumping a g a i n s t each ofker- |