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Show my sexuality by d e c l a r i n g me a hussy. He had passed judgement on my sensual, deep-feeling nature and on my extravagant ouriousity (only i n h e r i t a n c e s from him! I believed) - unseemly c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s for a woman t o possess. Therefore, I believed, he could not p o s s i b l y regard me a pure vessel of procreation. He saw me as something corrupt and l a s c i v i o u s, as a body physical r a t h e r than s p i r i t u a l . I could not possibly be pure enough or brave enough. He did not sanction the circumstances our under which ",f child had been conceived, did not believe that God had attended the wedding of our h e a r t s . And even though Brian and I were l e g a l l y married, he regarded our m a r r i a g e - s t a te as sinful, for we had not been sealed. "It i s n ' t time for t h a t y e t , " Brian had said when I approached him about t h i s , suggesting t h a t my f a t h e r marry us for e t e r n i t y. B r i a n 's I had accepted A pronouncement as meekly as my mother would have accepted anything my f a t h e r said. I was B r i a n ' s wife. Obsequiousness was i n my blood, i n s c r i b e d on my c e l l s . I would obey my husband, r e g a r d l e s s of my personal convictions as to the eternal nature of marriage. I would not r e b e l l again, would not make the mistake with Brian t h a t I had made once before, opposing his wishes to c r e a t e a deadly s i t u a t i o n . I would not make the mistake with Brian t h a t I had made with my f a t h e r. UK Ik >j A' And so I had my baby in the h o s p i t a l . Danny satA through •Wch of my l a b o r , and I was h o r r i f i e d when he suggested that he take Brian's place in the d e l i v e r y room. I d i d n ' t want him» anymore than I wanted my f a t h e r watching as my secret Places opened to admit new l i f e. And I did not f a i l . "It i s n ' t a Marine," my doctor commented |