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Show 5~2? of touching each other. It was the same with most Mormons. They were so r i g i d , so concerned with propriety - they had almost forgotten that 'Man i s that he might have joy.' the dictate of t h e i r s c r i p t u r e s. But when Brian t o l d me he wasn't going to k i s s my father when he saw him, I was hurt and angry. A slow sinking feeling came upon me, almost an omen of things to come. "Don't you realize that you wouldn't be here i f i t wasn't for him?" I said. Brian nodded slowly and when we reached my mother* s received my father's kiss anyway, but awkwardly, in a way that disturbed the air of greeting. Pain had jagged through me with an intuition that the two met on d i f f e r e n t planes, as though reaching across space and time. toward Hello, son," my f a t h e r said, moving A him. Brian had tried to shake hands, kissed anyway - the two gestures do not mix well. I had thought about i t afterward. Did my f a t h e r 's affection reveal something unmasculine about him, some vulnerability that was outside male-ness? I couldn't convince myself of t h a t . In my blood was the knowledge that it takes strength to love - war had nearly k i l l e d my will to love, and Brian's too. Well, then, I considered, did my f a t h e r ' s ways speak of insincerity or perversion, as Danny's wife had implied on °ne occasion? I f e l t confused. My father had frequently expressed h i s deep love and devotion for the members of the Priesthood Cou-Qnil, for many of his sons, and for his hrothers. He hugged and kissed them, he clapped them on the |