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Show 5-3/ of the Golden P l a t e s of Mormon. All in a l l , Saul was moved by his obsession to "find the f a c t s " to an almost t o t al disillusion with Joseph Smith and a c o n s e q u e n t i a l disregard for the Church. As I heard i t , Saul composed a l e t t e r of some length. He worked on i t for months, gather>TTootnotes and r e v i s i ng statements, amassing an a r s e n a l a g a i n s t my f a t h e r ' s p o s i t i o n. His statements went something l i k e t h i s : That my f a t h e r was a narrow, d i c t a t o r i a l person who had entered i n t o the group because he needed to f u l f i l l an i n n e r wish for a u t h o r i t y. That every man has the r i g h t to free and democratic thought, and that my f a t h e r had v i o l a t e d S a u l ' s r i g h t to think in accordance with his own c o n s c i e n c e . That my f a t h e r had accepted l i t t l e, if any, r e s p o n s i b i l i t y for c u l t i v a t i n g h i s c h i l d r e n and preparing them for l i f e . That he had abused and neglected my mother because he had over-extended h i s d e d i c a t i o n to the Principle. That Saul loved my f a t h e r and hoped t h a t he would doubt and love and accept him* d e s p i t e h i s ^disagreement with the Church, <ln return^> Before the f i n a l v e r s i o n of t h e l e t t e r was s e n t , Danny, who had offered to e d i t the l e t t e r , suggested t h i s r e v i s i o n: "His love? You d o n ' t want h i s love - - w h a t ' s t h a t worth? His r e s p e c t , maybe. His l o v e , no." And so Saul had d e l e t e d the statement about love and offered a course of mutual r e s p e c t . My f a t h e r sidestepped the suggestion, stuck to h i s d o c t r i n e s and h i s bigge r guns, q u e s t i o n i n g the arftr-absence of S a u l ' s f i l i a l loyalty. Later I h^erd him repeat Saul's words A expressing perplexity, e#& yet announcing it Proudly as though i t was a purple heart: "My own son, Saul, |
