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Show lo% which she had organized to lessen our estrangement. She had plunked herself down among us, had drawn the ubiquitous bag of peppermint drops from her apron pocket and had told jokes and ghost s t o r i e s to match our best. She had hugged us and wept as we reminisced about out days at the white house. And then she led us i n rounds and campf i r e tunes. How h<t</. her warmth and balance, her loving acceptance been shrouded by my f a t h e r ' s condemnation of me? How had I forgotten the own s refuge of her big soft arms when my/ mother/ seemed too f r a il for my heavy, bulky problems. Why hadn't I cried out to her when l i f e ' s confusions bound and f e t t e r e d me? When I had been too pregnant for the months of my marriage, she had given me a baby shower, inviting the mothers, some of the aunts, and a l l of my s i s t e r s . Each had hand-made some item for my baby. My f a t h e r must have confided the situation to her, or she had guessed, but she had not let it matter - - had, in f a c t , 'gone the extra mile' with me, as Mormon s c r i p t u r e adjured. A u n t ^ ^ w a s the family h i s t o r i a n , and in t h i s way. particularly, I r e l a t e d to her. She usually saw people as they were, without the t i n c t u r e of idealism. Instead of being seduced by i d e a l s and i d o l s , she kept t L fresh, human perspective. She was at once c h i l d l i k e and wise, in seeing people as they an inheritance were 'T. Inrtiirr to which I was returning. Aunt^A^had taught me that i t is possible to be warm without being vulnerable, to be kind without acquiescing She was the only one of the mothers who dared tease my father from his attacks of egotism. Of a l l my f a t h e r ' s marriages, hers seemed closest to the r e a l a t i o n s h i p I longed to have with Brian. Rather than be a l i t t l e g i• r li i•n ~ a,- , hvomunsce-hpoholdld 0o1f sister-wives |