OCR Text |
Show in my father's house/ 345 think that the world is made up of two types: those who give (whether they want to or not) and those who take (whatever they want). It was as clear to me as my father's concept of good and evil. The givers were good; the takers were evil. But the givers were suckers and the takers were smart. I felt it to be a terrible injustice, another outrage added to all the persecutions of my lifetime. I didn't see the fusion of these elements in myself or others. People could be only givers or only takers, not both. I saw the whole world divided into these types, and concluded that the takers had the power and the control, while the givers were the servants. The boy I went with (once he was released from detention) was distinctly a taker. As always (in my own mind) I was a giver. He depleted me quickly, and I began to resent him as much as I resented Aunt Helga, but I told myself, "He needs me." It was the sort of rationalization my mother would make, completely at odds with my new philosophy of life. He was a baby, always gnawing at me, trying to suck nourishment from my being. There was this homework assignment he had forgotten to do - would I help him with it? There was a rip in his jeans - would I mend it? And all the while, he was oblivious to the turmoil of my life. felt At Christmastime, I A compelled to give him gifts, the things his alcoholic mother would forget to buy him. One night, while waiting for Saul in a discount store, it occured to me that I should take a few things, just as I had from Aunt Helga;.. I was tired of having less than I needed. |