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Show en • voii so much for t h a t ! " Tears pushed in my eyes and throat, voice began to crack. "And I have the same r i g h t s . I have the m freedoms. In that way, I follow your example, footprint for footprint. Even though I am a woman!" I bit my l i p , for I wanted to say more. I wanted to t e l l him ,ftheyears of oonfusion. I wanted to describe my mother's " « « • £ £ . „ * had been stretched between him and Saul for.so many years, ^ J loving them both. I wanted to remind him how he, /« h i s p a t r i a r c h a l fl~ M scorched the f i r s t tender growth of my womanhood. I wanted to confess, I've only recently discovered God and i t ' s your fault - for being so grand and magnanimous and gifted and charismatic, for being »ch a healer of body and soul, for being so eager to shoulder another's „~mo Rut vour arms were too short burden, for holding us a l l in your arms, mx youi to hold me for long, and you became a oloud between me and God, between me and the sun! But the old laws - the ones that had once been served on + %that I had to forage a silver p l a t t e r and had been thrown outA so xnao ^ d 'Honor thy father... their meaning on my own - resounded in my neaa. * * « * . . . . . and -Forgive as ye would be forgiven.' The words tehad f e i n t e d for years t r i c k l e d back down my t h r o a t . Instea .~o the best father a child I said, "I love you, Daddy. I guess you're the I ' l l follow that example °°uld ask for - a matchless example, i T * m have to do i t my way- tothe extent t h a t i t f i t s . But I s t i l l have l e c t u r e for the anger I braced myself, waiting for the i » + h a t a l i my r a t i o n a l i z a t i o ns bathed in reason. He would t e l l me t h a t a ll A \f T d i d n ' t change the way *» very fine, but I ' d s t i l l be damned i n ^ived. He would t e l l me t h a t Ir waas ttrraaddiinngg a million dollars in r of the present. And I would • * * ! blessings on the shiny penny * him that I was Cordelia, loving him according |