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Show (olip reminder that if only I had been f a i t h f u l to Brian, I wouldn't still taste the acid of Vietnam. I had put my own needs - for resolution and understanding and vengeance - before Brian's need for me, and i t had n e a r l y destroyed both of us. "The marriage has to be strong enough to survive, whatever ie individuals do," Danny put in. "Otherwise i t ' s no marriage." "But shouldn't the individuals feel some sense of compromise for the marriage - shouldn't they be w i l l i n g to give, or even sacrifice, to help the r e l a t i o n s h i p survive?" Question and answer was the only way to talk with Danny. He wouldn't l i s t en to my statements without l e c t u r i n g. "And end up l i k e Mom ?" Danny asked. "You give up yourself and y o u ' l l end up just like her," Dierdre put in. "But open marriage - t h a t ' s adultery." "Not if everybody consents to i t ." "But what i f one of the partners doesn't consent - I 'd never consent." Danny and Dierdre shrugged, almost in unison. "Then you get whatever i s l e f t over." "But Jesus said we shouldn't t r y to save our own l i v e s - that by giving up t h i s l i f e , we would receive Life Everlasting." I s t i l l had not learned to horde my p e a r l s , nor how to determine sheep from swine. Dierdre waved her hand impatiently. "Jesus was a masochist." I gasped and f e l t the blood rush to my face. "Even i f you ^on't believe in His d i v i n i t y , you must reasonably conclude that He was a victim of circumstance, that He d i d n ' t wish i t on |