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Show 1 house/ 429 In all the noise, he was reading. I went to him and looked over his shoulder. He was reading a doctrinal text written by my grandfather, Byron Harvey Allred, J r . - a j u s t i f i c a t i o n of the Principle of Plural Marriage. I knew a few things about the book: That my grandfather had been excommunicated for writing and publishing i t . That he had taken a t h i r d wife to underscore hstwittsiPBfcSS"*^ the And I knew that this book was the catalyst of"my f a t h e r ' s divorce and subsequent entry into the Principle. My mother had told me that my father had begun writing l e t t e r s to Grandfather Harvey, trying to st&. grandfather ttf**v change his mind about publishing the book. Instead, / had / changed my f a t h e r ' s mind. I had never read the book. I knew that I should read i t - would even like to read i t , for i t contained the secret behind many of the intolerable differences in my character, the distinctions even Brian could not sustain. Perhaps i t would reveal and explain, and even apologize for the d i v e r s i t y and dissonance of my being, the forces that had gnarled about me so that wherever I went I seemed unable to f i t . And perhaps - unthinkable hope - i t contained some fragrant balm, some light wind of forgiveness for those who did not live the Principle. But I did not know how to read such a book in those days - not even in the most remote and tranquil corner of the library. Perhaps I was afraid that i t held too l i t t l e truth, a lame explanation for tfre expansiveness of my forebears and a poor excuse for my being. Or perhaps I was afraid that i t contained tQo much t r u th - l i g h t and r e a l i z a t i o n that would turn my l i fe |