OCR Text |
Show £7/ Yet somehow I knew t h a t he d i d n ' t want too much time to ttin]c, too much time to brood. Instead of approaching retirement, he was approaching q u a n t i f i c a t i o n . His r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s and problems grew rather than diminished. And I sensed t h a t he wanted i t that ny, He wanted to serve, as he had always served - caring for the sick and the overburdened, h e f t i n g someone e l s e ' s load. He could not bear to have someone e l s e serve him, wait on him, give him medical care and p s y c h o l o g i c a l succor. It seemed u n f a i r that he would accept nothing i n r e t u r n for a l l he had given - a f r u s t r a t i o n, taowing that debts could never be r e p a i d . Perhaps t h a t was how he retained his mastery over people and l i f e. "I don't know how you stand i t , Daddy," I sighed. He grinned broadly, as though I had thrown him a challenge or a -favor. "I must stand i t . Who could stand i t for me? The Lord has given each h i s own p o r t i o n . " I thought of my p o r t i o n , my w r i t i n g . At times i t weighed so heavily upon my l i f e , b i t i n g huge chunks of my time with my children. S t i l l , i t could not be^sS oppresive as his r e s p o n s i b i l i t y. I wanted to ask him how he bore i t , but I could not speak of i t. 1 felt he would be h o r r i f i e d ; he would see me as a self-indulgent saboteur.The g e n t l e f a m i l i a r i t y we had gleaned would be blown away, He began to speak of h i s concern for c e r t a i n apostate &r°ups led by people such as Alec Joseph. "They've become a law unto themselves,' he said, r e f e r r i n g to a passage from The Doctrine and t e n a n t s . "I d o n ' t know how the Lord w i l l ever forgive those of us *° take i t upon ourselves to s t a r t our own churches, ignoring His True Church. These men even make up t h e i r own r i t u a l s . They throw out the old laws i n favor of some new-fangled notion |