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Show f 7 i for the mailman. The baby was born i n August. I gave b i r t h in the h o s p i t a l, one of the few in my f a m i l y / t o do so. I explained to my mother that the Marine Corps had assigned me to a p a r t i c u l a r hospital under the care of a c e r t i f i e d o b s t e t r i c i a n . It was a l ie designed to protect my f a t h e r ' s f e e l i n g s . I couldn't bear to have him deliver my c h i l d . I was a f r a i d that with him in the room all my nerves would go berserk, my muscles seize up, and tbst I would f a i l. He had delivered the babies of h i s other daughters. One of my s i s t e r s had spoken of how g r a t e f u l she was for his calm, soothing presence. "I know t h a t everything i s a l l r i g h t because Daddy i s there. I don't think I could do i t without him." One of the older g i r l s , Jane, had s a i d . "Soon a f t e r I went into labor, I t o l d him I d i d n ' t know i f I wanted to go through with t h i s p r o j e c t a f t e r a l l . He got such a kick out of that! He laughed aad laughed and s%d, 'You should have considered that nine months ago, daughter." I was amazed by-their pure ancVplacid a t t i t u d e ^ /. wondered again at my own l a c k i n g - was i t derived from what my father had accused me of being, or from my own b a s i c a l l y - s i n f u l nature? !"hat was i t that made me shy from such intimacy with him? I had loved and t r u s t e d him so much! Daddy, what happened? There was a f e e l i n g , shadowed and u n c e r t a i n , that made me tremble when I thought of him examining me as my o b s t e t r i c i a n - a kindly ex-Marine who had served in Vietnam himself - did, joking about the d i s t e n t i o n of my body, yet making me feel |