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Show house/ 374 and jolted into the parking lot. The decision came upon me quickly, almost as if from another source, a flash of irresistable energy that may have prevented me from using my father's gift as a tool of self-destruction. That evening, when Brian picked me up, I invited him into the house and introduced him to my mother and my brothers who were home for the holidays. Having my dates meet the family was something I had not done for a long time. They seemed to take to Brian immediately, and he joked with them, revealing his dry wit and some clean-cut values. There was a sense of wholeness in their presences that was refreshing, healing, but we did not linger. I did not want anyone to see past the make-up I had carefully applied to my discolored lip, did not want to answer any questions. The Christmas party was like any other company party in Utah, with its cliques of drinkers vs. non-drinkers, smokers vs. non-smokers. Brian and I, with our quasi-Mormon attitudes, did not seem to fit with either group, but somehow I did not feel the typical aching need to belong. I did not feel lonely as we ate in candlelight at one end of the banquet table, away from the others. I did not mind that no one cut in as we danced to soft music from a small combo compressed into onacorner of the recreation room. For long moments I felt only Brian's arm around my waist, his hand holding mine, his aura seeming to encompass me, surrounding me with love and Protection. I was being healed. I was falling in love. The realization jerked my head up and sent starlight and dreams scattering as though someone had suddenly turned up the lights. |