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Show in my father's house/ 200 Idaho or Montana when he went to visit his other families. My brothers each went with him at least once, visiting national parks or state monuments en route. Danny got to see the ocean, and brought me a seashell with the waves roaring in it. "Why didn't you let me go?" I asked my mother. "Can I go next time?" She shook her head. "Wait until Mama goes on a trip with Daddy. Then you can come too." But the time never seemed right. One time she was feeling weak or ill. Another time, her nerves were bothersome and she would be too homesick. Another time my father had children of the other families with him. "I've had enough traveling in a crowded, noisy car. My nerves just won't take it. Wait until we can go alone - just my little family." After a time, I stopped asking to go with my father and despaired of spending any special time with him. That was when I began to get sick - mild colds and flu that didn't keep me home from school unless my father was slated to arrive. Then I would wait for him to come to the bedroom, and I would moan as he worked the aching elbow or pressed the stiff knee or put his hand on my forehead. "I guess we'll just have to cut it off," he'd say grinning. I felt foolish, but the touch of his long, cool fingers lingered long after he had left the room. I envied Aunt Gerda and Aunt Helga, who my father invited back to the foreclosed white house with their children - Aunt Gerda to maintain my father's household and Aunt Helga to maintain |