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Show 7i7 missed having a man to head the family, yet was glad that Brian didn't dominate me as my father had done. And he still shunned organizations. "I can hardly live for myself," he'd say when I suggested we try to find a mutually-fulfilling community ~ the Church, the group, even a country club. Aunt aratwas speaking, "Aren't you afraid that someone will discover that all the residents are also registered as citizens of Utah?" That was like Aun-tSarah1 tryigty to get my father to face eality. He shook his head. "No problem. People don't need to register to vote here. Even if they have to work here, there's no reason why they can't call someplace else 'home.'" "But what about driver's licenses?" she insisted. He waved the words away. He couldn't be bothered with such trivia. The Lord would work things out. The details would be unravelled by someone else - by Aunt Sal or the others who insisted on dealing with nit-picking realities. He had faith that there was a way to do it - there was always some way to do what you know is right. I was half-irritated and half-awed by his assurance. How could he play so blithely with lives, when survival hung in the balance? He was so sure, so secure, so unafraid of risks, while I could scarecely move for fear I'd rock someone's boat. Faith was the key. Where did it come from? Did he manufacture it within, from the resources of ego, mind, and natural physical energy? Or was it like grace, given at seemingly arbitrary moments according to the will of God? |