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Show 6Sg But my mother's pain was r e a l and j u s t i f i e d : Who should have to choose between husband and son? My p a i n made no sense. I was only allowing sc0m to have i t s way. There was no mean/ling i n t h i s , anymore than there had been in the rape. I would not follow i t through to find that, once again I had been duped, deceived and fooled. I stalked from the room i n to the bathroom. I gazed i n t o the mirror. My face was thin, with g r e a t dark hollows under my eyes. My nose and cheekbones seemed sharp and uncompromising. Something had happened to transform the soft, fulsome g i r l I had been i n t o a woman of distinct features, sharp p l a n e s . I looked l i k e my Grandmother Sllred, or l i k e my f a t h e r. set I sat down on the t o i l e t ^ a n d looked up at the c e i l i n g. 4 great anger swelled from my h e a r t as I thought of how I had been treated. I remembered t h a t my Grandmother had r a i s e d t h i r t e en children - seven of them had been C h a r l o t t e ' s , my g r a n d f a t h e r 's first wife. She cooked and cleaned and housecleaned for them, but they turned on h e r , many of them. Some had s i l e n t l y blamed ner for Charlotte' s untimely death. But Grandmother had gone on loving them i n her remote and cool way. So I must do,-****- " \ But why? In the case of Charlotte and Grandmother Evelyn, I could understand why f e e l i n g s were r u f f l e d , why sorrows ran deep. Charlotte's mother had been dead-set against the P r i n c i p l e and had warned her against i t . This made C h a r l o t t e ' s n a t u r a l jealousy almost impossible to bear. But the Church p r e s d i e n t had ordered them to keep the P r i n c i p l e a l i v e , even though the Manifasto had been signed two years before. Charlotte had given up her home i n Star Valley, ha< left her p a r e n t s who had r e c e n t l y moved ^Wyoming to be near her in their old age, and had gone to Mexico to A the P r i n c i p le without breaking United S t a t e s law. |