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Show W1 "Death to your death-wish, Brian," I whispered to the photograph on my dresser. "Now you are l e g i t i m a t e . Your mortal rights are sealed with the f l e s h of your f r i e n d . " Then I began to tremble. "Please come home. Please come home to me." I wanted to hold him and rock him u n t i l the h o r r i b l e t a s t e and vision were gone forever, b l o t t e d with my love. from J e a n n e ' s death. I knew the g u i l t of l i v i n g onA But we had been given the extra time for some reason - we had to do something good with it. How could I convince him t h a t we were meant to l i v e ? I dulled the pain with my mind, speaking reason to myself u n t il I could write a l e t t e r of encouragement, demanding t h a t he do his best to preserve h i s own l i f e and leave the r e s t to God. But faith was shaken. Suddenly a l l l i f e seemed tenuous and fragile beyond comprehension, as though we could be zombies that wouldn't even know of our own passing i n t o oblivion. I called B r i a n ' s mother and t o l d her how important it was that we support and encourage him. She had been sending hia packages and l e t t e r s a l l along, and had expressed a t e n t a t i ve good will toward me and the baby. She had given me some money when the Marine Corps had stopped our pay while Brian was in the brig so t h a t my engagement r i n g wouldn't be repossessed, and she had i n v i t e d me t o family g a t h e r i n g s . It seemed that she might accept me as her d a u g h t e r - i n - l aw a f t e r a l l. In a l l the bewilderment of my l i f e , I found an unexpected arena of peace at home. My mother was k i n d l y and p a t i e n t as SVer. She was always s o l i c i t o u s of my h e a l t h and B r i a n 's safety. My f a t h e r had developed the habit of coming to my Cher's each day for lunch. As soon as he came through the door he would k i s s my mother; then seek out my daughter, t i c k l i n g her |