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Show in my father's house/ 163 inspired young Joseph Smith to pray in a secret grove, the site of his first vision. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God..." One morning Saul disappeared before daybreak. Later, we saw him descend the east hill above the silver mine. In quiet tones he told my mother he had asked for a sign, some indication that he should trust in Joseph Smith and in our father. "Nothing happened, Mama," he said, his face pinched, his eyes dark and burning. In the days afterward, Saul spent a lot of time whittling or walking alone. His sense of humor, a wry wit reminiscent of my father's lightheartedness, disappeared. No one, not even my mother, would look into the dark fiery whirlpools of his eyes for very long. Just before Aunt Sarah was to arrive, Saul and Isaac got work as ranchhands twenty miles away, working from sunup to sundown and sleeping in the bunkhouse with seasoned ranch-workers - coarse, weatherbitten men with salty tongues and stories that banished sixteen year-old Saul's naivete' forever. With Saul gone, I looked forward to our bedtime reading. I pictured each story as Aunt Helga read it, my imaginings staving off hunger for my father and the others. My favorite book was Old Yeller. I hurt for Travis and little Arliss trying to get along without their father. And when rabid wolves attached OldYeller, I believed it was only a matter of time before mad wolves attacked us, too. |