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Show ^1 She had longed to give to the world and to God as much as anyone, but somehow she had been made mute and p a s s i v e . I remembered a snapshot I had seen i n my grandmother's photograph album: the twins had been about twelve, then. Aunt Kathy had taken up two-thirds of the p i c t u r e , while my mother seemed crowded against the border, t h i n and r e e d - l i k e . Now both of them were t h i n , Aunt Kathy from f a s t i n g and my mother from her i l l n e s s . The m a t e r n a l rounding of f l e s h was gone, j u s t as it fell away from me because of the n i g h t s when I sat in the hallway s c r i b b l i n g in a notebook, s t r a i n i n g my eyes under the yellow bulb so as not to awaken Brian when the compulsion came upon me. My mother had gone to the door, and I heard her t a l k i ng with one of the b r e t h r e n . When she r e t u r n e d , she said, "That was Brother Holker, b r i n g i n g us cheese and milk. He's so good to us - h e ' s asked t h a t your daddy adopt him, even though h e 's a man about my age. He l o v e s your f a t h e r so much." :l I nodded slowly, f e e l i n g overwhelmed. What a paradox - Saul and Danny my f a t h e r ' s n a t u r a l sons t u r n e d away from him, d e c l a r i n g t h e ir d i s c l a i m ed ' illegitimacy, while o t h e r men grapp.1 ori with t h e i r own p a r e n ts in order to be i n c l u d e d in my f a t h e r ' s l i f e. "Brother Holker t e l l s me t h a t our p e t i t i o n for a township in Montana has been denied a g a i n . He j u s t received word t h is morning. The judges are breaking the law, denying the r i g ht of appeal - a n y t h i n g so t h a t our people won't have a place to call home!" "How r i d i c u l o u s ! " I exploded. All my confusion and sense of Paradox g a t h e r e d i n t o i n d i g n a t i o n . z "People a l l over the nation are l i v i n g out of wedlock. Group marriages and communes Pepper every s t a t e in the country, with r e p o r t e r s dogging them |