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Show 711 0ff now since Sunday afforded him no r e s t , trying to relieve his constant f a t i g u e . As always I d i d n ' t know whether I should intrude. These women who came into the Principle from monogamy d i d n ' t understand our ways, that one d i d n ' t bicker exclusive over or lay^claim to my f a t h e r ' s time, that like the land, his time belonged to God. I struggled inside myself as we returned to Dierdre's for tea. Should I go see him? What would I say, how would I justify my claim to his precious time? Dierdre quickly embarked on one of our discussions about Mormonism and agnosticism. We talked of the s i m i l a r i t i e s between Mormondom and the deep south and theorized that Mormons must someday produce i t Faulkners, t i l l i n g the native psychological soil, and i t s Robert Penn Warrens, running fugitive from t h e i r own roots. And then I suggested that i t might produce something else, some r e a l i z a t i o n beyond that of the south -- a renaissance °r a millenial consciousness -- perhaps a humanism embracing Sod, or God embracing humanism. The schism couldn't last forever, I said. We argued what would happen and how. She was for escape, I for infusion, she for separateness, I for joining. I began to feel weary, almost paralyzed by the filaments of conflicting thought. The conversation took the same old turns, came f u l l - circle a couple of times, then began the same philosophical and psychological contradictions. She might have been Danny, they sounded so much a l i k e. "I should be going," I said, rousing s l i g h t l y . I was so tired of struggling, my mind webbed and netted with thoughts that had nothing to do with the brightening day. I wanted to see my f a t h e r. |