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Show VI 'ndulgences. My f a t h e r was not a philanderer in any sense. Fach marriage demanded l i f e l o n g commitment and eternal devotion nd so could not be viewed as shallow or s e l f i s h . Unless, of course, one considered egotism in a l a r g e r , more encompassing sphere - that of the Chosen Race, the elect of God who had been selected to perform His works, to sustain Life in a degenerate world, to p r o l i f e r a t e a b e t t e r seed. But such thoughts no longer made me uncomfortable, for writing had taught me about feeling chosen, had taught me about dedication to things unseen. I would find a way to accept my father and his wives - even the new ones. I couldn't blame them for wanting to partake of and his his rich£5 - h i s p r e s t i g e A power, ^emotional and s p i r i t u al ken. A good man, I had to concede, is very hard to find. When I saw him at my mother's house, my father and I exchanged brief, optimistic words. The livingroom was dark, the drapes drawn against the early summer sun. He sat on the sofa, cracking nuts and feeding them a l t e r n a t e l y to himself and one of the new women. My mother was downstairs giving piano lessons. He offered a perfect Brazil-nut to me. "Have a nigger-toe," I flinched. " I . . . I 'm on a d i e t ." "You're too t h i n already." His voice was kind. "Fresh nuts and f r u i t s are very good for you," the only new woman broke in. "We've been eatingAthem and a tew herbs for several weeks now. Your father says he feels much b e t t e r ." I resisted an urge to r o l l my eyes. Almost every one of J~XY-.LT ypffimen or my f a t h e r ' s wives had placed him on one eating r g +n mvqpif. if that was what another. I wondered, smiling to myseii, hadAruined h i s stomach. |