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Show (o73 birthdays, anniversaries. Clearly, she f e l t part of the family, despite the distances of time and space and doctrine. Just as I still felt part of the family. Some said that Aunt Fran in had relinquished her r i g h t s A my f a t h e r ' s household when she 'divorced her f e e l i n g s from him.' But I d i d n ' t believe she was capable of completely divorcing herself from him - anymore than I was. She couldn't have resented his priesthood advancement anymore than I resented his 'open-door' family policies. If I could be fused, then detached, could love blindly and then objectively, if the bond held for me, then it could hold for her, as well. If my marriage could be tangled up with love of my p a t e r n a l family, could be knotted and twisted by my b r o t h e r ' s interference and yet might be unravelled and rewoven into something hopeful, then so could hers. I understood the perfectionism and independence that had motivated the s p l i t , f e l t the confusion and pain that had driven her away- And I also f e l t her longing to belong again, on terms that r e f l e c t e d her own true needs instead of someone e l s e ' s. AuntElsa had accused Aun£aVAna of damning herself when she left my f a t h e r . Perhaps Aunt E1fa was the specter within me that revolted at the very hint of divorce, of family disintegration. But AuntE l s a had always been more c e r t a i n of the exclusive righteousness of the group, for she had known nothing e l s e . She had been reared in the Principle, her father being my f a t h e r ' s staunchest d i s c i p l e . Despite her narrow, self-righteous view, AuntE l s * was the epitome of h o s p i t a l i t y. Her house was always f i l l e d with children and grandchildren - her own, Aunt Rachel and others in the group as well. She ln«H *.--•: -,^ q t Hirmftrtime, and delighted in the |
