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Show 573 She did not say he had betrayed her. She would not have said it had she thought i t - which she probably did not. But an atmosphere of implosion was a l l about her. She had l o s t weight. Her skin wrinkled with the delicacy of a drying leaf. Only her eyes were f u l l , the pupils d i l a t e d with sorrow and bewilderment and disillusion, red-streaked with the s t r a i n of suppressing the greatness of her feeling. She fixed us coffee and took a s p i r i n with i t - my f a t h e r 's prescription for her recurrent headaches. "That'll probably make your nerves worse, Mama," I said, but-drank my coffee anyway. I d i d n ' t require the excuse of illness. My grandmother had enjoyed coffee, I remembered. She had taken i t for i t s d i g i t a l i s - l i k e effect on her heart. Perhaps I could blame my a p p e t i t e for i t on her, along with my kidney trouble, my anemia, and my short s t a t u r e . I didn't mind being modeled a f t e r her. She had been nearly as kindly and sweet as my mother, with the softest skin in the world - even in her old age. "So, Mama. What's making you sick? Really. There's always a cause - not some l i t t l e germ in the a i r . But a germ here, or h e r e . " I pointed to my heart and then my head. "Oh...I don't know. There's so many problems nowdays." She began by describing my f a t h e r ' s many d i f f i c u l t i e s , as though trying to prepare my ears with understanding, even now devoted to him and h i s troubles far more than to her own. "The Priesthood has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars into businesses - e s p e c i a l l y those on ther ranch - that haven't paid off. The settlement there has huge debts and many of t h e i r e n t e r p r i s e s are f a i l i n g . John Reardon - |
