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Show house/ 448 "We're leaving," I said to my father. "They're leafing" punned my half-brother, pointing at the leaves which drift past the high window. I heard, rather than felt my teeth grind. "No. You might say they are Fall^ing," my father rejoined, his pupils glinting^-and that tight smile pointed at Brian. His meaning was not lost on me. "Well, whatever. Anyway, we're gone." I leaned forward to be kissed. "Goodbye." "Not goodbye, my princess." My father took my face in his hands and looked long and deeply into my eyes. I lowered the lids quickly, afraid he would read my thoughts, afraid of the knowledge there and what it would do to our precarious father-child relationship. But he held my face carefully, persuasively, until I opened my eyes again into his. "Take care of yourself. We love you very much." Surprsie welled within me., dangerously fluid. What was this? This mercy, this acceptance. It must be some alien being in my father's body. Where was angry Jehovah thundering destruction from the sky? I blinked quickly, mumbling, pulling away. He was making the departure very difficult. Brian and I left in a flurry of goodbyes punctuated with hugs and kisses. Love fell free as sunshine as we headed for the door. They loved us, they called. We must come back soon. I turned to see my father sitting silently, watching us, his index finger lost in the leaves of my grandfather's book. Outside, we were breathless in the cold air, drunk with sudden spaciousness. |