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Show in my fathar' s- house/ 332 #- Certainly, my growing attraction to the opposite sex had something to do with my discomfort. Men were the big puzzle of my life, especially these men of the group, so like my father. They were tall and well-built and mostly handsome, a collection of brothers, cousins, and strangers who reflected the same self-assured, self-righteous attitudes which I saw in my father. They spoke with confidence, seeming to believe that their thinking something automatically made it true. They seemed to have the only answer to every question and did not entertain any speculations about anything beyond Mormonism. They knew that The Book o_f Mormon had been sent by and translated through divine power. They knew that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. They knew that the Principle of Plural Marriage-was an Everlasting Covenant, a commandment from God directly to them. They lived in the accepted space, comfortably turreted by doctrine, and did not understand anyone like Saul who went beyond the space to peer over the edge or to search for doors and stairways out. They were so sure, while I was unsure. I longed to talk with someone about my insecurity, my lack of knowledge, but I felt they would only have the same response to my ponderings toward Saul's, as my father had A And as with my father, their responses would---- indite.- me. No person should ask the questions that roiled inside me, least of all a girl. It was questions such as these that made me a Jezebel, a hussy. There was another problem, as well. I was developing a sense of humor which stretched beyond the puns and moron-jokes that characterized my family. I enjoyed witticisms about |