OCR Text |
Show in my father's house/ 66 "Why do Aunt Rachel's kids live with Aunt Gerda?" I asked. She sighed and stared at the bedspread. "I don't know. Because Gerda and your father thought it was a good idea." For a moment she gazed at the wall, her face dark. Then she said, "Gerda has more energy than she knows what to do with and she had to wait a long time for her children. It seemed like a good idea in the beginning, when Rachel had one baby after another and Gerda had none." "But what if they don't like it -- Aunt Rachel and the kids?" My mother shook her head and her face grew darker. "I guess they don't have much to say about it. Besides, Rachel does have a hard time keeping up. Because of my illness I know what she goes through." "Mama, what if they decided I should live with someone else. What if Aunt Helga made me call her 'Mother'? Would you let them take me away from you?" My throat was tight. Her eyes filled. "Darling, no one is going to do that." Her voice was low, ashamed. "Please don't worry. Mama has enough on her mind right now." My mother's nervous illness became a critical part of our lives, but for years no one made a connection between her failing health and the pecking order. The patriarchs -- my father and Brother Musser -- eulogized the arrangement. They said the Principle gave women greater freedom -- a half-true |