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Show in my father's house/ 54 to become the first and legal wife. Afterward, they told Rachel she was too young, unprepared for the responsibility of meeting the world as the doctor's wife. Aunt Rachel, never overly-articulate, took in the explanations without a murmur. The only sign of what burrowed in her heart showed in her large, dark eyes where spark diminished and after a time, went out altogether. My mother testified to Aunt Rachel's sense of betrayal: "Once or twice, Rachel confided that the whole thing hurt her. She used to come and visit while I was doing the ironings. I think she sensed that because of my poor health I understood better than the girls in the family who have plenty of energy. I really don't know who insisted Gerda become the first wife -- whether it was your father or John Y. or Gerda. And maybe Rachel was too young to be the legal wife. But she could have enjoyed the special place of a first wife whatever that is -- without being the legal wife, you know." I, too, visited with my mother as she ironed, listening to fairy tales or stories of her girlhood, and as my curiousity grew,, to the family histories. I watched her sprinkle the clothes, then roll them, then test the iron with a spit-dampened finger. Then I stared, wanting the wrinkles of my confusion to become as smooth as the white shirts my mother ironed for a dollar a basket. "What happened when you met Daddy?" I asked my mother as |
