Bernie Rose, Interviews with Jews in Utah, Accn 998

Page 124

!'llr. K :~r. :1 l"r. K Mr. !\ ~r. R soT.ebodv else •.. so, e~otionallv I was readv to go, except that I had my mother. ~ aybe I thought that e~otionally I was ready to .,1'· :~J:: J\ :\ = (' _i -, go but I /~ rny mother as an excuse .• I '11 never really be able to resolve that in ~v own mind about why I didn't go. The question was '~id I ever consider it?' ... the answe r 1s yes, I considered it. Okay, what do you have for ~e next? No rnore auestions. You ~ean we've come to the end of this? Am I glad. I'm going to get this tyned up and look at tt and I'll give you a cony. I'd likP a copv. You ~ow, I've done a tre~endous a~ount of self examination ~ere, lots of w~ich I've thought about before because a lot of t~ese auestions I've as~ed ~yself. After all, you didn't ta~e a dull saw and saw down to where the answers were an~ore tha I tn ~Y going through many of these things before ever went down past 'well, I don't know', and I'rn satisfied with the 'I don't know· because there's no reason for rnv looking for an answer beyond that point. I never went into self psychoanalysis or something like that. I think you're naturally reflective. I think you think about your-self, at least as events come upon you 1 nd '/ u. Yes, I do, but I don't thin~ so much about things behind ~e. I'm only interested in what I learned yesterday might help me tomorrow r-e-- ,' E.: .l.. I don't ~that much on tomorrow on why I didn't do it different ~ or on what errors I made and all this kind of stuff. A guy could eat his heart out if he goes over every mistake ••• no life is free of t hem. The only question is is do you have a fair percentage of