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Show Inside Out, 1 Chapter 1: Andli I'm sure it made Paul happy all day to think that he had saved my life. Not that his feeble, seven-year-old whacks on my back had done anything to dislodge the pop-tart I was choking on, but he thought it had, and I let him think so. "Thanks, Bud," I said to my brother as soon as I had cleared my throat enough to talk. "No problem," he said with a satisfied grin. "It's important to save people's lives." I didn't tell him that if I had choked to death it would probably have been his fault. He was the one who had said, "What day is it?" Which is why I had checked the calendar. Which is why I realized that yesterday was the four-year anniversary of my mother's death. Yesterday. And I had completely forgotten it. The guilt of forgetting hit me in the stomach with a wallop that made swallowing impossible. My mind spun. What had happened yesterday that had distracted me? How could I have missed it? No, yesterday was just a normal day. I had never forgotten before. Every year, when the golden days of early fall started to turn to the stinky, stale days of early winter, I had watched the calendar, setting aside space in my mind to think about her. But, of course, this year was different. |