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Show 375 "I would like to wheel around the mall and have no heads turn in my direction. Then if by chance one did, I could blush to think it was maybe because someone thought me to be outstandingly attractive. I can hardly wait." If ever again I can go to a mall, I am thinking. I "save" my work and close the laptop. I will review it tomorrow, provided I have not been startled yet again and am gone with Versed. The column is due in three days. My deadline is in three days, I am thinking. A deadline. My column may have a line in time beyond which it cannot exist, but I do not, I am thinking. Not anytime soon, at least. Not if I can help it. For the writing of this column, I have been very much alive, in spite ofthe medication in my body and brain and in spite ofthe agonizing curling of mv body, and I do not anticipate otherwise even after e-mailing the piece to my editor. I have, after all, almost left this room. I have mentally, at least, rolled my wheelchah around the mall, noting the responses, present and imagined future. I have spoken good words in behalf of many other people, also isolated, as am 1.1 have remembered my home and my family. Knowing I must have the piece there by a certain moment gives me purpose while here. Gives me reason to be in this bed. Gives me direction to aim my hopes. It is not a deadline, I am thinking. It is a life-line. |