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Show 300 I am glancing at the numbers on the monitor. One hundred thirty-eight. One hundred thirty-nine. One hundred forty-six. I am pushing the call light, hoping that the nurse will not mind my fear. She comes around the corner and into my room, and I do not know her. Has she been my nurse before? I am wondering. "How is it going?" I am asking her. "You're doing just fine," she is saying, hands on hips, and I know from her stance and her answer that I have imposed on her evening. She has two patients this night and one is probably asleep and the other has a heart that is racing, but it is racing within its bounds and all is well. She is leaving and I will not call on her again this night. "Father," I pray, when the hallway is empty of her footsteps, "I'm afraid." 'Be still and know that I am God." |