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Show 35 I can hear shuffling in the room. They are.trying to relieve the awkward moment by changing their positions. Crossing the other leg. Shifting weight up or down in their chairs. If they are more comfortable, maybe I will be also. I am now stumbling through cognitively appropriate words if only to ease their discomfort. If I can just say a few things, maybe they will let me go. I do know the right words to say. But I fear my words do not resonate truth in their souls any more than John's did. We are all gamely trying anyway to make this work for me. People are asking me questions to ask the chair, and I comply. Others suggest things I might be feeling, and I acquiesce. The two therapists make astute comments from time to time, and I readily agree. Another shift of positions and I understand that this is all gratefully about to end. "What did you learn about your disease from all this?" Ursula asks. It is a good question. "It's not malevolent," I immediately respond. It is an honest answer. This disease has no inten- ^ - .-_ ^ -^ tion of harm. It is unaware of me. It just is and it just happens to be within my body. More importantly, I did nothing to deserve it. God is not mad at me. This disease came to me purely as a consequence of life on Earth. My response to it is all that now matters. |