| OCR Text |
Show 86 doctor lose his temper with a patient? Are they sad that we are doing this again for what must be the fifth time in fewer days? Or are they just professionally numb? I can see from the comer of my eye that Diane's jaw is clenched. Her lips are set. She is not her usual, joking self. I am comforted that she is not speaking the cause of her tight emotion, no matter the source. I need to breathe and am concentrating on finding breath. Forward, my body hammers the pillows she places before me. It is less intense. The Valium is beginning to work. My body will release soon. This whole ordeal used to last only a moment - just an extended jerk - then release. But now, once started, especially if intensified for any reason - a second startle on top of the first - it takes some time to quiet. Of course, I am thinking, if the catheter were fixed and the medication were reaching its target, I would not be here at all. I would be home. I would not startle so readily. The muscles would release quickly even if startled. "It seems better," Diane is saying. "I think so," I respond. Breathing is easier. |
