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Show 336 I am realizing with a cold stone in my stomach that it is true I hurt people. I have tried for so many years to survive, to just keep breathing, but in the end, I only hurt others. I am hurting my husband, who is now essentially a single parent. I am hurting my children, whose hopes of my staying home for more than a brief moment are constantly dashed. I am hurting my neighbors who hate to see this happening to our family. I am even hurting the taxpayers who are subsidizing my medical care. And now I have hurt someone caring for my sorry body. And to what end? I serve no purpose. I fill no role. I have no reason for being. I am a useless shred of humanity. I am wishing to break this window and jump to a better life, if, indeed, there is one. "Suzanne?" I whirl around at Hy's voice. He is standing in the doorway, breathless. "How did you know?" I am asking, through a flood of tears. "I just knew," he is saying, crossing the room and taking me in his arms. "I knew to come so I just told my boss I was leaving," he is saying. "I drove as fast as I could and I ran all the way from the car." |