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Show 44 MADELYN CANNON STEWART SILVER novels, which they regarded as superficial and unimaginative, not sufficiently challenging to an alert mind. On the few occa sions when Madelyn brought them home, she felt compelled to hide them and read in secret. Her diary suggests that Madelyn wanted "to make something of myself in the musical line," but found it difficult to practice consistently. She fell in and out of love several times, was very self-conscious about her activities around boys, was frequently asked for dates but didn't accept all of them, and had her first frappe at age seventeen. She played the ukelele at parties; usu ally had a "peachy" time; and was sincerely pleased when her articles and stories were published in the Gold and Blue. One boy complimented her by saying she was gregarious. She looked the word up in the dictionary, where the meaning was "per taining to flocks or herds; in a crowd." She pictured herself rid ing or walking alone at the ranch and thought her friends should see her in such a setting. In fact, she was proud to be a reflective girl, full of her own thoughts, and quite happy to be alone." Here is an early poem connected with her life in the Forest Dale home on Simpson and Lake. Its images depict the dualism she was experiencing between a socially complicated external world and her quest for self in a sequestered fetal dark ness and warm security. SECURITY I undress in the dark And crawl into bed, Pulling the covers up close, Warm round my head. Dark is so thick I cannot see; The whole of the world Is wound up in me. I lie here quite still, Untroubled, alone, And all of my thoughts Are just-my own! |
