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Show "In the name of the law, Stop Ye! Stop!" shouted the peeve<5 leader, the doc, but "You're My Baby" went right on. The deputies then acted in a more clever way, more like detectives. They tip-toed up to the orchestra and let them know rather definitely that they were out of order. The orchestra, not having brought their guns, packed up. The deputies then ordered the dancers to "clear out." In one minute they would begin firing.But the mob still must dance. They scouted around until a hall was found and rented and then all of the runaways, chaperoned by the Dean of Women, wound up their hilarious day."As cracker crumbs in the bed clothes is a giggle that knows no cessation."ORIGINAL INTELLECTUAL,THE GORGEOUS GAMMA GROUPTHE CLUB WITH A PEDIGREE.We have traced our lineage direct to the "College Women' organization of '49. We have proved ourselves the oldest organization in the state. We have established our right to first place in the order of Sororities in the Utonian.We are the Glittering, Gilt-edgeGAMMA GIRLS.Confidential.Best Political machine on Campus.If you are after office, go Gamma."Most Daring Politicians in the West"-Youth's Companion."Merciless, mercenary, menacing."-War Cry."Veritable Volcanoes of Vituperation."-Police Gazette."Pi Phi For Us." EXCLUSIVE PROGRESSIVEousness has been plying Private Persuasion and wire working metnods to tie up votes. When he found that the popular candidates, the real choices of the people, were going to run away with jtiim he resorted to the lowest of political maneuvers. He lined up the sororities; he solicited the engineers in private caucus and lie double crossed his own fraternity brother candidate for Chrony and enlisted with the big steam roller of the crooked Alpha Pis in order to get their support.The truth of the matter is, he boosted the Pi candidate because he thought there was no chance for their man and that he would not hurt his own Chrony candidate. For his supposed support he was put on the Steam Roller ticket for Musical Society. But Righteousness underestimated the power of the machine. The Pi's have delegates in every Sorority, and bloated bosses in every class. The Pi's have the solid engineer organ under their lash. The Pi's control the majority of the votes in the A, S. U. U. Proof of these statements is found in the vote. The Steain Roller candidate for Chrony received 148 votes. Righteousness, their candidate for Musical Manager, received 149. The same machine votes went to each man, but when Alonzo Righteousness got in the deep recess of the secret ballot he double-crossed the roller Chrony Man and voted for himself for musical director. This accounts for the one vote difference in these two roller candidates. We brand thisas Dirty Politics, and demand that he be ousted and a c'ean man elected.Abbott. Claude Coray and Cre Miles both smiled in approval. Then Watson signals the chair for right of speech. "I am not so radical as Capricious" he begins, "I would pay the editor of the Utonian for his work. He has spent an enormous amount of time (what's a pig's time worth anyway shouts a back bencher) I should say-possibly $500-¦ would be a just remuneration, but the other 12 or fifteen hundred profit should in all fairness and justness be turned over to the class."Capricious and Abbott both clapped vigorously. The treasurer also smiled with mercenary delight, seeing a beautiful chance for graft. Then arose the little Editor. In a low trembling voice, so characteristic of his gentle, altruistic nature, he expressed his sorrow at the feelings of the class. He stated that his work was not being appreciated as it should be (a tear trickles down Marg Merrill's pretty face) and that, contrary to universal opinion, the Year Book was not a mint. "I am taking a big chance, I am putting into the 1914 year book $2,000 more than has been expended before. (This writeup cost $2.00.) I am doing all in my poor power to make the Junior Year Book the biggest sud best in the annals of history. (Claire F. and Gene S. break down simultaneously.) I have "worked and worried and struggled and even now it is more than likely that the book will lose from 500 to 600 dollars. All my work I freely give. My time belongs to the class and if the book loses, I-(a bitter choke) I alone will stand for this amount. To me, rather than such rebuffs,Join the Delta Epsilon Cosmopolitan ClubEvery Nation represented-Everybody Welcome-No Eligibility Restriction- College Mens Headquarters.Contrary to Malicious and malignant mistatements- we draw no color line against Jews or Mormons.GENE HOMERecruiting Agent and inciter of Shanghaiing squad.THE FLAVOR LASTSLEARN HOWLEARN NOWYou Cannot Buy Them By The BoxIf you cannot kiss you have no place in College, Society or LIFE I can teach you every style with every hold and position.FRED McENTIRE, The "Kissing King"I Can Make You A Convincing Public SpeakerFree Souvenir booklet contains Execrable, extirpatory and excru-tiating excerpts from my Spluttering, specious and spissitudinous speeches in Nomination of Ott Romney for Chronicle in 1912 and Milt Sevy for President in 1913.IN" SPITE OF WHICHboth candidates "won.Lisotricous, loquacious, libelousLUNT |
