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Show through with the prayer. Then comes forth the Reg"ent W. W Riter, spade in hand, to set the stone. "Ahoy! Swing- to the left," he commands in a loud voice. '|There, there, slack a little-"The foreman and workmen step back in amazement as the Reg"ent deftly orders the stone into place. He taps it into exact "square" with mighty blows of his mortar handle, then speedily and accurately he slaps on the mortar and scrapes off the sides. TheIntroducing the Rev. Elmer I. Jonesmemorable stone is set. A cheer rends the air from the now sixty-three students present. After a brief pause of awe and admiration the throng adjourns to the assembly room for memorial exercises. Dignitaries of all kinds and shapes line the stand, lending finish and feeling to the occasion. In an enthusiastic speech, bubbling over with fallacies of induction and ugly phrases, Regent Waldo Van Cott praises the schools great present, and stupendous future. The window was then opened to give Gov. Spry more air and immediately closed to prevent W. W. Riter from taking his death of cold. Then Prexy and the Governor each put in his little say, the band played the ^assical and timely selection "Alexander's Rag Time Band" and all turkey-trotted to their classes.of mixers that show class in that ever-lovin' society game, the dopesters have, after carefully lamping the schedule of interesting bouts, agreed upon an all-star "aggregation."It is deemed advisable, though, to put the unsuspecting public next to the rues, conditions, and possibilities of the sport before justifying the choices on the eleven of the five hundred.The game is playea under the supervision of a well-known eligibility committee, consisting of Mr. I. M. Rich, Mr. R. U. Popular and Mr. O. U. Handsome. Frank Fellows and B. A. Man used to have seats on the committee, but were found unnecessary in the Twentieth Century. A guy is eligible as long as he can stand the pace.The famous code of rules governing the great game has its basis in etiquette, social tact, convention, and the great law, that "Money talks," and has it on civic law, Roberts' rules of order, and common sense in ten ways.The game is payed with two kinds of balls-formal and informal-the former for the regular matches, the latter for practice games, and both highly inflated or blown up. The schedules are always heavy and it takes a gamester to stand the strain. The games always start slowly, but gradually warm up and generally end in real excitement.The players bedeck their manly figures in fu'l dress for the big games, but are generally well padded for the fray. They strive hard to show their best form, while in actionMany headgears are in vogue, the best players using Stetson's Tile.The coaches have established strict training rules. The men are required to be well manicured, to keen their arms and feet in good working order, to eat nothingcreams, and drink only tea and sparkling beverages; never to be in bed before two bells, and to practice whenever possible by queening on the campus. The trainers have no trouble enforcing the rules.Throughout the season the playing has been spectacular, but generally rag-ged. The chief co'.-lege yells with which the players are spurred on to greater efforts are "Everybody's Doin' It" and "Your'e My Baby."The chief difficulty in picking the players lies in the fact that the most spectacular scrimmage generally occurs after the game is over. In fact, at the ball it may seem that the orchestra does most of the playing-but far be it from such.Because he is always a center of attraction, we give Mel Nay-lor the middle position. He handles the ball in great style and is there on making the openings ;ind taking advantage of them. He seldom gives his opponents an opportunity to kick.The guard positions easily go to Ham Gardner and Dez Ben-nion. "Ham" has guarded his interests well and during the entire season has never let an opponent break in. Bennion's playing has always been aggressive, he has frequently broken through his opponent's defense, and although an effective holder, is seldom caught. He has, however, been penalized for Tripp-Ins". His value to the team is increased by his consistent kicking. It is difficult to assign the men to particular sides of the line, but Ham says she's a queen and he is RIGHT. We also heard that Dez got LEFT.Tillie Oleson gets a tackle position, hands down. Tillie tackles anything. It is hard to guess his next play. Although lucking weight, we think Harry Hansen would make an excellent mate forman. In fact, seldom Ewe we heard him called offensive. He has been thrown out of the game, though, for "roughing it".Pinkey Summer, besides being the gink that put the Prom in prominence, has played a very steady game. Pinkey says, "No matter what the beginning, I know the end." So we award him an end position. FinXey lias effectively blocked his opponents. Scotty Cameron has shown great versatility and speed and deserves the other end.At quarterback we would have Lon Romney. He is strong for team p'.ay, should handle punts well, as he never misses a ball, and he covers lots of territory. He has been responsible for many we(a)ek end runs, but on the whole his playing is spectacular. He is strong on the fair catch.Dalgleish agrees with the critics that he owns the full back job, because of his vicious heart-smashing for consistent gains. He is a terror to all opponents and shakes off all who attempt to delay his progress. He works best to the "Gaby Glide." To Kid Thurman falls the half back position, because when he slipped the Taxi driver ten bucks he got half back. He is a good dodger, having dodged several who have tried to get him. Although this is his first year in 'Varsity competition, his high school experiences have stood him well.Art Taylor at half back should round out the team well. Although he has often failed to keep his head, he has fought hard. He settled down to a steady game toward the end of the season.Altogether, the season has been successful. The boys haveplayed many brilliant out-of-town games. The straight arm has gone out of style, however, and the touch back is very much preferred to the safety.The Last Class atStan Darger'sRathskellerPi HouseFull line of imported and domestic "goods"Ambulance to take you home.Theta UpsilonJOIN NOW.We have a men's smoker. Our Fussing rooms are open till 12.See our Premium list for new pledges.A Theta has been A. S. U. U. Secretary for the last year. We guarantee our girls Friday and Sunday dates.YOU ARK NOT YEARS OF AGE•21please do not patronize my place of business. I don't want the trade of any Minor.College >len of Discreet age.I have isoiwethlng that will interest you.R. H. WALTERS 2116 Souse Alleyor speak to any Sunday Church.me privately at Goshen'sthority busted off to call de cops? Some of the saner members of the faeu'ty seeing the critical conditions went among the insurgents as missionaries, taking hold of the leaders' arms and drawing them away. The climax was at hand, the Saratoga of the revolution, the Gettysburg of the rebellion was reached. It looked as if the cause was lost. Obedience and submission were taking root when out rushes the doc crying,•iffs.r>fitHam Straddles"I will give you 73 seconds to clear the grounds!"That lost everything. Doc Merrill was hissed; the missionaries mobbed, the President of the A. S. U. U. was grabbed and hoisted on the drinking fount. "Ham doesn't approve of rough stuff. Ham doesn't like anything boisterous. Ham looks best with a blouse waist, a bow tie and his hair parted in the middle. Ham objected to the strike and besides Ham wanted a drag with the facu'ty, but to express his thoughts meant ruin. His life was in danger. His existence depended upon his utterances. So Ham straddled the situation. This is Ham's speech: "Of course, you all know-'"(hurray!)-'"that we haven't a right to break up classes, but I have an idea that we can slip one over the faculty. I will tell you how we can get the best of them. This is it-we will go outside the fence and yell." So the rioters left the grounds and after giving "We're the people from Utah," two or three timesC.vntinuid on fago 2, Col. J |