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Show ''<l>yTHELIFEOF THE YEARWE repeat, LIFE! By Life we do not mean that which is comical or ridiculous nor that which savours of cartoonery, nor do we mean anything frothy. (We disclaim all relations with anything foamy or sudsy in any way, whether seeping out of a 3.50 Mumm's Extra Dry or slopping over a Baer's 5c a stein.) Nor do we mean that this department is a life picture of the weighty thoughts and serious actions oi the monotonous creep of human existence. NO! We mean LIFE! LIFE! We do not intend to exaggerate, nor do we intend to suppress. We are not muck-rakers, we are not alarmists, we are not insurgents, nor are we pessimists. Rather, we are purveyors of fact and portrayers of truth. We give you here things as they are, the real life of the school.We deeply regret that our college life has been so inconsistently, fallaciously, and maliciously misrepresented by the other departments of this book. That which goes before this part is merely a preface, it is a formality demanded by tradition. That which comes after, also, is merely form, but whether form or inform it will show no form after this part has been scanned. The rest of this book is traditious, prevaricatious and punk. Here is given the only true and clear conception of College Life. This is the one requisite of the book. This is the Life of the book. In fact, this department IS the book.This is It! This is LIFE! Read on.We stop at nothing! We sell to Minors.Table of PretenseBook I. Profs and Prophets.Introducing Some of Our New Models.Book II. Fussics, or the Art of Getting Near to Nature.1. Illustrations in Nature Study.2. The Fussers' Club. Motto: Vicissum Sum."3. Tales of the Blotter.4. Memoirs of a Couch Cushion.5. The Pipe Dream Club.6. The Goat Club.'IubetBook III. Strikes and Spares."We strike all and spare none."1. A Visit to the Greek Amusement Houses.2. Junk (classified).3. Junk (unclassified).Book IV. The Utah Monocle.1. Selection of All Star "Ball" Team.2. Coronation of Central Building.3. Utonian vs. Prom.4. Crooked A. S. U. U. Politics.!:V\S( |
