Coffee Drinkers Preferred

Page 59

Coffee Drinkers Preferred Page 59 of 307 the best vantage of any of the possible seats or tables they might choose. At precisely three o' clock, in they sauntered. Ralph walked in with an Eagle Scout. Well, he wasn't wearing his uniform, but he was the strapping, straitlaced mold out of which all of them are cut. Except for me. I had my Eagle by 11th grade. That's what Allreds do. We get our Eagle. To finish my Eagle I had needed twenty nights out. That's Boy Scout lingo for camping. I was two days in on a six day trip when my scout leader said to me in the morning, "Congratulations. You just got your twentieth night out." I had miscounted or forgotten a trip somewhere. I had it. I was done. No more itchy butt. No more bugs and twigs and bad food and weird sounds and kids laughing about farts. I was done with the camping-out part. I pulled all the heavy and unnecessary food out of my pack. I gave my camping tent to a kid who always was complaining about his "crummy" one. I distributed several other choice camping items I would never need again. When the scoutmaster caught wind of what I was doing and came up to me, "What do you think you're doing?" "Leaving." "What?" "I got my twenty. That's all I need. Except for a bath."