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Show Coffee Drinkers Preferred Page 33 of 307 teaches me that family is forever. This never fails to make me want to kill myself. "The boys started screaming that they needed to see you. I didn't know what to do," she sighed heavily as she lowered her bulging body into one of my tattered easy chairs. I had some ideas for what she could do when her boys start screaming. My list began at suffocating them and went downhill from there. Living in Utah has taught me that when genuine affection for my relatives fails me, as it does consistently, then protocol always helps to smooth the interaction until it disappears like a painful boil. "Can I.get you some lemonade?" "That would be nice," she said, lowering the twelve month old to the floor where I hoped it would find a light socket that its tongue might fit into. I would have painted bright clown faces over every electrical socket in my home if I didn't think that even Kayla would find that too obvious. "We want to watch T.V.," cried Hayden during his fourth dive from the top of my bookshelf. I retreated into the kitchen and poured some of the special powdered lemonade I had purchased just for occasions such as this into a large glass pitcher. I personally do not drink powdered lemonade and used to serve Kayla and her brood real handmade lemonade but they always complained that it did not taste as good |