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Show JON FULLER Jon "Hot Tub" Fuller arrived here in the dead of night from the bustling metropolis of Torrington, Wyoming (30 miles south of Brokenleg and just west of Armpit, Wyoming) and immediately proceeded to foment open rebellion and insurrection against the staid formality that was, until then, Utah. Although his surface appearances lead the average observer to believe that this man is nothing more than your typical harmless young collegiate rake with an obnoxious grin, a "come mother me" personality that has seduced many an unwary young maiden to her doom, and a vascular system that flows thick with usually • pacifying tequilla, the true demon inside has been exposed to those of us not fooled by superficiality. This man, Jon Fuller, is an animal, a fun-searching, loud-laughing animal who also has a dangerous complusive streak for serious medicine that could result in a plethora of healthy, happy geriat· ric patients and a major overload of our Medicare/ Medicaid health care system. There should be no need to remind you that your tax dollars are paying for all this quality geriatric care, paying for all these older folks to live longer, more productive lives when, without Jon's skills and smiles, they would have justly passed into the great beyond and eased our financial pressures ... He was obviously planted here by the "other side" to disturb not only the harmony of young, single women's homes ("No, dear, I've already told you I don't like you going out with that strange, giggling medical student" ... ) but also to disrupt our economy by providing good geriatric care, of all things. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take this madman to a local Vietnamese restaurant, ply him with food, then force a variety of mildly alcoholic bevecages on him until he forgets who he is, what the geriatric dosing considerations are for most of the major drugs he's learned, and where the key for the hot tub is; only then can we be certain of his complete neutralization ... Remember his motto-"lt's always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission." Need we say more? ....,__---;;,~ Jon's note: "Honestly, Mom, I don't know where they got this informa· tion. Class of 1987- I love you all and will miss you greatly. Agape." |
