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Show i S 5 S i ten years ago and which have been worn down by students striking matches on them. To the right you see the beautiful lawns of the University campus and beyond them the waving fields of alfalfa and polo. Next the Commerce building looms into view and beyond it, far from the path of civilization, lies the abode of the medics. And now the Museum where all the old professors are comfortably housed. Our itinerary does not include fossils so passengers will kindly remain in the cars. To the front lies the Park building built of granite where it shows and of white brick where it won't be noticed. We will now dismount and enter the building. Lady, vou'll have to make that little girl stop crying. What's that? No, no, we are not going to cross any railroad tracks. What makes you think so? Oh you think you see a railroad semaphore? That's no semaphore. That's just Obra, the boy who is happy the minute he gets a six dollar hat free, greeting an acquaintance. And there's Bill Stevenson, president of the Pi Kaps. What's that? No, Bill's mother doesn't know it; he's keeping it from her to save her worry. And here, ladies and gents, is the Utonian and Humbug offices. We are going to enter. Please keep your hands in your pockets as the company is not responsible for any valuables swiped by the editor. No, no don't get shocked, lady. That aint a girl in male clothing. That's just Dill Woolley, the Manti marvel. Yes, I know he's plump, but then you ought to see him in his sombrero and boots. What's that? Have we an artist at the "U"? Certainly, but that isn't one. That's just Mel Freebairn all rigged out for his beard contest. And look, quick or he'll be gone. See him? That's Jack Hanes. No, lady, we don't know who started the rumor that he was an artist. Maybe it was Jack. We will now proceed to the Chrony office. Stop, stop, folks. You can't enter until the air clears; it means death if you do and the company can't afford any more damage suits if its going to run this trip. The Rod of Aaron, similar in character to the Chinese tongs, has been holding a meeting. Just take a little breath of the Chrony air now, ladies. See 'em blush, folks? You can tell what kind of meeting the R. of A. holds. See that voung gent spread out on the table? He's sleeping it off. No, not hop; conversation. That's the Page Three Hundred Fifty Campus Cynic and he's just been talking to Frank Crismon. Where's Frank? Oh, he just stepped out to see Franz Kitzman and get some new ideas. Who is Kitzman? Oh, we can't tell you, you wouldn't believe it anyway. And there in the far corner is Clarence Barker. He looks weak now, but don't bother to revive him. He likes the sensation of being shocked by the Rod of Aaron. He says it makes him feel devilish. And there's Elliot Gates, the sophomore class treasurer. He looks innocent enough, doesn't he? But then, looks are deceptive. What's that? The young lady wants to know where the editor is, if this is the Chrony office. Now don't get funny, kid; who ever heard of an editor, especially Al Astin, being around when wanted? Come along, ladies and gents. We can't afford to waste anymore time in the Chrony office. And besides that, we don't think you could stand any more for here comes George Carstensen. We will now get in the automobile. That's right; throw Ralph Mitchell out. He can neck his girl in some other car for a while. And there's Swede Bolin, the success- Shay's Cafeteria New and Attractive including Soda Fountain Lunch Just Opening 137 So. Main Catering for any occasion is included in our service. |