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Show AT A STUDENT ASSEMBLY.Ben-The students in the library building are not the only ones to be looked after from the sanitary point of view.Butler--"Begin your themes with a short setting, but this is not a rule for hens."The Milkman's Favorite Tune: "Shall We Gather at the River?"COACH BENN1ON IN HIS OFFICEDo not believe in the affections of a Co-ed-are mis-givings.-theyButler-"Don't write themes about the meditations of a man standing in front of an oncoming auto -autos are not going to be interrupted by meditations."The world moves on. It probably finds it cheaper to move than to pay rent.TheBe-Be-QUESTIONS.Why should a man never marry a girl named Nellie? Because he rings his own (k)nell.t Why are teeth like verbs? Because they are regular, irregular, and defective.Who may marry many a wife and yet be single all his life? A clergyman.Which is the favorite word with women? last one.Why is an empty discourse like a solid one? cause it is all sound.Why is a good actor like a good architect? cause they both draw good houses.What is it that a gentleman has not, can never have, and yet can give to a lady? A husband.What is it that you can keep after giving it to someone else? Your word.Why was Adam the happiest of husbands? He had no mother-in-law.Why is a baby like wheat? Because it is first cradled, next thrashed, and then becomes the flower of the family.Why are fowls the most economical thing on a farm? Because for every kernel of grain they give a peck.Philosophers say that shutting the eyes makes the sense of hearing more acute. Does this account for the many closed eyes seen in our churches every Sunday?Little Girl-''Mama, baby brother has fallen down the old well."Mother-What! Without his rubbers on?"Pa Smith threw down his newspaper in disgust.-"it's shameful," he explained, "the way these 'ere colleges waste money on furniture! Here's an account of somebody giving Harvard $200,000 for a new chair!"Why ain't you practicing your piece, Johnny? I am, mother, there's rests in it and I'm playing them over and over."Happy" volunteered to make the biscuits, wanted to get his hands clean anyway.HeTHIS IS THE WAY HE DID IT."I wish I had your head," said Retta, after Thurman had worked a hard problem for her."I wish I had your heart," that gentleman said.We think the partnership is now working on a solid basis.AT PROVO.As the Dramatic Club landed in the rain at the station, "Tight-o" asked, "Is everybody happy?"Miss B. (contemplating the prospects for good weather)-"No, Lorin, the only one 'Happy' is Harold Johnson."Whitemore was just leaving the hotel at Brigham without paying the bill of the club. "Remember, sir," said the proprietor, "if you lose your purse, you didn't pull it out here."220 |
