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Show TO THE GIRLS IN MANUAL TRAINING.The true way for a girl to drive a nail is to aim the blow square at her thumb. Then she'll at least avoid hitting her thumb.Senior Arts Student-"Mr. Ellerbeck, don't you admire Locksley Hall?"Ellerbeck-"Well, er^-I don't know that I ever saw that building."While Bobbie was waiting to hear Van's rooster crow ten miles away he heard the. dummy tooting and mournfully remarked, "Miss Babcock, we've caught up to those cows again. Do you think we'll get to Ephraim in time for the Manti performance?"When asked why he bought that box of cigars Hamren answered, "They are tickets for a course oi lectures from Miss Van Cott."Professor (to graduating class in college) - "Young men, there is one more question I would like to ask, and that is, what books have helped you most in your struggles for an education?"Student-"Dad's check book has helped me about as much as any of 'em so far."When told that a certain deaf and dumb person had an impediment in his speech the question was asked, "How is that possible." "Two fingers missing from one hand and three from the other," was the laconic reply.Can a "woman keep a secret? Yes, of course, she can. T>haf is, she can keep on telling it.' DRINKING ODE.If the mighty noble Seniors Planned that on its christening day, On the gorgeous Senior fountain Streams of Wagner's beer would play What a hubbub and commotion All the mountains 'round would hear! How the buildings all would tremble- If the fountain flowed with beer!Yes, the first of all the students (?) To get wise to this new "plant," Would be Benny Grant or Tiny For resist they simply can't. When they saw the fountain filling With cold foamy oozing cheer, With a whoop they'd rent the heavens- If the fountain flowed with beer.Oh, the news would spread like wild fire, And the crowd's come thick and fast, With Fred Banning in the front ranks And Yale Pfoutz would hasten (?) past; Whitmeyer, bidding for the first turn, And George Cannon hovering near With the shocked co-eds retreating- . If the fountain flowed with beer.All the Profs, would come to censure, But the sight would make them halt; Prexy's voice would weakly falter, "Is that stuff extract of malt?" And to find out if this liquid Were one element they fear, They would all desire samples, If the fountain flowed with beer.-J. R. |