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Show AT THE AVIATION MEET."Yes," said Wilber Wright, "i cleared up $90,000 last week.""What! $90,000 in one week-that's more than the President makes in a year.""Oh, that's nothing.""Hugh-now I understand how Lincoln came to say, 'I'd rather be Wright than President.' "Reporter-"May I see the lady of the house?"Servant-'She's out, sir."Reporter-"Any member of the family then."Servant-"They're all out, sir."Reporter-"Well, didnt you nave a fire here last night?"Servant-"Yes, but that's out, too."V. Amussen he had some hair, 'Twas wavy as could be, But now, each time we look at That hair we cannot see.him,He wore that hair through all the years Until last "U" day came, But then that hair was clipped with shears, Though he was not to blame.Mr. Beckstrand-Now then, what thing to do in a hurry, Mr. Gardner? Dune-"Nothing."is the bestTed (sarcastically)-"Ben is the cream and the flower of the cast."Bobbie-"Yes, that's true if you're speaking of cream of tartar and flowers of brimstone."If there is no moonlight, will you meet me by gaslight, dearest?No, I won't-I'm no gas-meter.For information concerning motor cycles and other mechanical toys, apply to F. A. Banning, office across the hall from the Registrar.SOME OF THE POPULAR BOOKS."Commentaries on Hugo," by "Curls" Havener, is among the season's worthiest publications. The author handles her subject in an intimate, yet simple, way that makes good reading from cover to cover."Barbers and Barbarisms," by Victor L. Amussen, is an affective discussion of present-day conditions and will doubtless win at least local recognition for the author."A Narrative of Heart Beats," by Lafayette Lenz Butler, is a present-day novel in which philosophy is blended with romance. The material on which the book is founded is said to be taken from real life and it rings so true that we are prone to believe this statement.The name of Warren R. King is well known to all lovers of outdoor life and his two new books, "Campus Wanderings" and "Canyon Paths," are well worth reading. The text is so fascinating that even those who are prone to seek deep and philosophical thought are driven into the open despite themselves.If you want the atmosphere of the English country life, read "Traditions of Hyde Park," by Inez Clark. The narrative centers about one central character, and, throughout the whole, history is blended with romance.BETWEEN BUILDINGS IN THE RAIN.Mclntyre (with umbrella)-"You'll get wet. Let me be your rain-beau."Bessie-"All right, and I'll be your rain-dear."The Hotel rules are submitted to us by the debaters who claim to have taken them from the hotel in Denver:1.-Board 50 c a square foot. 2-Guests are requested not to speak to dumb waiter. 3-Guests wishing to rise early can have self-rising flour for supper. 4-If room is too warm, open window and see the fire escape. 5-Guests desiring to practice baseball will find a pitcher on the stand. 6-If your light is bad take a feather from the pillow-that is light enough. 7-Separate tables for rubber necks and mothers-in-law. 8-As there is no clock in the room, just listen to the bed tick. 8-If troubled with the night-mare you will find a rope on the bed post. 10-Do not eat your soup with a fork. 11-Don't be afraid of burglars in your room-the clerk will get your money anyway. 12-Don't think the hotel is haunted even though you see the border the paper-hanger hung. 13-Don't worry about your board bill-the hotel is supported by its foundations. 14- If thirsty go to the spring in the bed.Some of our students are like the the first in pity-the last in help.letter "P"-Don't have an understanding between two of you-people will think you're only half-witted.She (to her husband)-"You have never taken me to the cemetery.""No, dear; that is a pleasure I have yet in anticipation."Prof. Lowrey-"At Missouri they call the laws the mules, because they're so stubborn-and the law building is called the mule barn."First Medic-"We'd better adopt that here."Second Medic-"No, that wouldn't do-people might think Ben Howells was a law."First Medic-"Well, Ben is a little stubborn, but then maybe its a result of-well Colton says, 'Power will intoxicate the best of hearts, as wine the best of heads.' "HEARD IN "A FIRST AID TO THE INJURED" CLASS.Prof. Ward-Mr. LeCompte, what would you do first if a man were blown up with gunpowder? LeCompte-Wait until he came down.What is an extra dry subject? A cadaver from Ogden.Dow Y. (rendering his father an account of his term expenses, inserted)-"To charity, forty-five dollars."Mr. Y. (answering)-"I fear charity covers a multitude of sins."When you went for ten cents worth of tin tacks what did you want them for, Ben? For ten cents.218 |