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Show MMi ¦ n .., I-I'll show you I-I-I'm the gamest fighter who ever drew on a pair of eight ouncers." "With this defiance he left never to return. Oh, Death, Where Is Thy Sting? You all well know how Anthony met defeat and death in the battle of Actium. And as they carried his poor dead body back to her whom once it loved, the people paused in sadness and some did say, "The poor louse, every time he stubbed his toe it made his brains dizzy." Pete Kasius Fails to Adhere to Requirements for Army "The army entrance requirements are too stringent to permit all able bodied men to enter the service who desire" declares the president of the student body, and gives the following incident to substantiate his contention: I went down to the recruiting station to offer my services in the cavalry, and when I informed the officer in charge to this effect, he chuckled and said, "Say, son, we would have to get a camel to accommodate your legs." He then explained the requirements of a cavalryman which made if impossible for me to become a member of that body. Being a fiend for excitement I inquired concerning the aviation corps. "Well, you might be abre to get in there if you could crowd your neck down in your body a little. You know the aeroplanes weren't made for phenoms like you." "Well," I said, "I'll take a chance." "You're sure taking a long chance, sonny," he said. As he held out an application card for me to fill in. I was just on the point of taking it when suddenly he remembered something and drew it back. He asked my weight. "About 145 pounds as I am," I answered him. "I guess there is no need of filling in this card. You would be twenty pounds under-weight when minus your made-to-order clothes," he dismissed my airy ambitions with. "By this time I was so disgusted with the regulations that i determined to withhold my services until the army becomes more lenient in its requirements." -o- Sam Nichols announced his engagement about as vociferously as a spy heralds his approach to the enemy, or as the bride-elect in the presence of her favorite minister. Gibson Purchases Latest Folding Flivver for Kids Among the latest additions to1 the campus is a brand new 1917 model Ford owned by our beloved Dean J. L. Gibson. It has all the modern equipment including the customary pump ana guarantee to run one year without spontaneously dissembling. On Wednesday, April 11, the dean made a family visit to the school in the new CAR. We congratulate you, dean, upon the sizes of your family and extend our fondest hopes that both the children may some day attain the distinguished reputation "which their papa now enjoys. We noted with delight the proud smile of satisfaction beaming on the dean's countenance as he somewhat too hastily traversed the sidewalk and stepped into the building. The smile, although apparently well meant, left a doubt as to its meaning. It may have been the smile of a proud father, or it may have been the expression of an inward feeling of satisfaction with his new:y acquired vehicle; but we are inclined to attribute that smile to the mysteriously folded up apparatus he carried in his right hand. We readily saw the wheels and mudguards, the top, and the black body, but we were at a loss to discover the steering wheel or the emergency brake. Again we can believe marvelous things for that famous car but never have we even heard of them being folded up and carried in the hand. The case is further mystified when we question the dean's reasons for caring to conceal the fact that he is the owner of twins. If we have erred in assuming the apparatus to be a regenerated tin can, we humbly beg Brother Gibsons' pardon and only ask that we be correctly informed that we may make the necessary amends. To all who were patriotic enough to quit school for their credits only, we wish to say no credit is due. "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the "world." No wonder we have' so many benedicts. |
