OCR Text |
Show 1 As B. Nuts Sees the Fraternities Theta Sigma. Founded in 1916 or 1917-or both. Except for the P. A. E., is the oldest unna-tionalized fraternity on the campus. Embraces engineers and other bipeds. Tuition free if you bring your own beer. Phi Alpha Epsllon. Also known as Pay-as-You-Enters. Lives chiefly on faith, hope, and-not charity-speculation. Biggest man Ambrose McGarry, capitalist, financier and all-round Mexican athlete. Almost a musical fraternity-worships the lyre. Pi Kappa Alpha. National fraternity for men. Locally known as sorority by those as ought to know, such as Bish Kay and other sophomores who love Kasius. Take in promising debaters, presidents, secretaries and other officeseekers. Guarantee to make a young man old in four years. Sigma Chi. Give good parties-live in a fine house -spend lots of money-and say to h-----1 with the cost of ligh loving. On speaking terms with the Betas. Pledged one man on pledging day and said they "were satisfied. We hope so. Strong for the Chi Omegas. Membership includes several Romneys, a couple of "Wallaces, a Spencer, an Allen, and others. Beta Theta Pi. Locally a strong man's organization. Nationally large and extensive. Good-natured bunch. High athletic ambitions. (Kay, Van Pelt-ad infinitum). Capacity about eleven gin fizzes per capita. Pledge no prospective ministers, clergymen, or bishops. Natural distaste for water, hot chocolate, and Pi Kap punch. Phi Delta Theta. Good variety. Fluctuating scholarship. More hair cut in underclass war than any other fraternity. Fine bunch of Eomeos. Everything in fussers, from Ericksen to Yundt. Why Girls Leave Home To raise a girl and have her leave, True, that is grief and bother, But say, don't blame the girl, ohe loves A younger man than father. In the spring a young man's fancy Turns to love in gushing flood- In the spring a young man's fancy Clothes are spattered up with mud. If a sorority sees a girl with $11.95 shoes, a fifteen dollar waist, $25 hat, $32 skirt, and, if it's cold, a $37.50 coat, they rush to put a 95c pin on her, provided she has a million dollar smile. A Sermon to Sororities By 'Parson" In the course of right, lo, interspersed hither and yon are little wrongs. 'Tis of such wrongs I speak. Sorors, give me a hearing lest thy wrongs undo thee. For when Moses listed to tea commandment ah then came words easy to' hear, harder to understand, and impossible to obey. But you, sorority girls, are impossible anyway, so give unto me full hearing. To the impossible are all things impossible so, knowing full "well of thy difficulties, herein shall I set forth, not hard commandments, nor irksome tasks- but no, rather a primer course, easy even for the unenlightened, facile forth the weak. You are said to be classy, because you make dates, spend money and laugh all the time; because you are serious when you shouldn't be and are not serious when you should; because you fall in love readily and fall out again with even greater ease; because you are so complex that nobody could understand you, and so simple that no one wohld want to. You are said to be clever because you can deliver a witty repartee, because you are elusive and forciful, and because you can keep six or seven strpilings interested in you -<the latter number, of course, if you do1 not rest on the Sabbath. So, for correstion in thy ways, most rharming women; that ye may still be clever and classy, but not so clever and so classf as to be unenduring; that ye may be a new kind of clever and a new kind of class which is also lasting; that these may be accomplished, pause but a moment to scant the following. It is meet that yet scoff heartily at the parlor rat, if he be nothing more than rat of the drwaing room. 'Twould be well to be not too alluring, but to maintain a kind of reserve so that, when novelty is exhausted for the many, you may still stay blossoming and smiling. 'Twere better ye set not too yay a pace, lest ere the dawn of the sony of songs, than be fagyed. Nor need ye be old-fashioned for that will sxirely crush thee. Play ye not more than half of six suitors at one time lest ye become dull and they sicken. Be yet not backward nor forward. Be all that others are-the call from without-and more too-the foice from "within -a yood sterliny mixture of conpention and oriyinality. So that, these accomplished, you may be fair to look upon, interesting in discourse, and lasting in thy ways. V I 274 C> > |