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Show I ¦ Herein Lies Tale of Sade Fate of Antony, Who Falls Before Vampire Now that his noble friend and Emperor Caesar had been foully murdered by the double-faced Brutus, the Eloquent Antony knew not how to spend his leisure. He paced restlessly up and down the lonely room, pausing here and there to reflect upon occasions when his beloved companion and side-kick had oft sat and planned their dirty work. Now he reposed in silence six feet underneath the green, and no more "would Antony feel that old familiar paw slap him on the shoulder and hear his glad voice hail him with "Greeting's, Mark, ir geht es mit ihnen?" Many a time and oft had they gone chicken chasing and in sooth pick up good stuff. But now all this was but memories to1 the downcast Antony. Antony Comes to Life His meditation was unceremoniously broken by peals of discordant singing. "Hail, hail, the gangs ail here," rang through the stony room, "What, to hell do we care now." Aroused as if from a dream Anthony cried unto' himself, "These rounders are here to cheer me. They do indeed speak the truth. Why should I lament over that pulp head Caesar? If he had been hep to himself, and wised up to the lingo of the oracle, he could have been the undertaker instead of that half-witted Brutus." Thus brought back to earth Antony sat down to plan an all-night party with Salome, when he was interrupted by the entrance of a messenger. "Well, what's the correspondence?" questioned Antony. Telegram Conies From "Vamp" Scout The U. T. D. handed Antony the mail. Antony scanned the outside, undecided whether to open it or let it wait until he had recuperated from the party, when he noticed in the corner: "If not called for in five days return to General Gottanifor-women." Unhesitatingly ne broke the seal and read: Ciro in Egypt, March 12, 43 B. C. Greetings unto you Kaiser. I beg to report the find of a skirt, Cleo, queen of Egypt, who in my judgment makes Venus look out of proportion. She makes me wilt like a stiff color at a ball game, when she looks at me through those dreamy lamps, and if her line of tongue won't make a desert rattler crawl back under his rock, I'll buy you a John B. Will you come or shall I let her fly the coop? R. SV. P. Fare-well, GENERAL. GOTTANIFORWOMEN. 'Nuff Said for Antony. Jumping from his chair, he shoved the message aside; grabbed a suit case; threw in a few suits of B. V. D.'s together with his Gillette and vanity box; snatched up his crown of laurel; gathered his army together and three days later walked down the gang plank at Tarsus. Here Cleopatra accompanied by her National Tambourine Corps greeted him with "She's' Got the Light of Egypt in Her Dreamy Eyes." After responding to seven or eight encores, Cleopatra stepped forward and "welcomed Antony with "Hail to thee, Mr. Antony, and welcome in peace." "Thanks, girlie, for the salutation. Accept my compliments on your chirping." "Oh, cut the kidding, boy, and take me serious," wheedled the queen, as they ascended the Cydnus in her silver barge. This fatal move marks the beginning of the end of Antony's career. Antony Says "This Is the Life" Here in this land of mystery and antiquity Antony bathed in sweet Arabian perfumes; drank the drinks that none but Cleopatra savvied how to mix, and pulled on long black, clear Havanas. They chatter about the life of "A Fool There Was" in New York, but the career of this poor nut in Egypt makes that worthy tale seem like a nursery rhyme. The high spots in this land of Salomes seemed to Antony but foothills as he climbed to their highest peaks. Ah, Cruel Fate! But all good things ynust terminate. The news reached Rome that Cleopatra and the poor vampired Roman were framing up a deal to institute a spoil system whereby Octavios was to lose his job and young Caesar was to be made emperor of a combined Eastern and Western Empire. This peeved the mighty Octavius. He went to the senate and denounced this "ivory beaned hick" who would "lose his stable equilibrum over a doll-faced vampire." Mingled with threats of dragging the "lead topped mongrel through the streets of Rome" he asKed and received permission to "go get the baby." Queen Ousts Antony. The news of the sailing of Octavius was not received unpleasantly by the queen for she was tiring of the shrivel-up Antony and longed to hook another fish. Here was her opportunity to oust Anthony from her coop and coax in a new victim. She consequently awoke Antony from his sweet souse of peace and showed him the way to the open air. "If you love me, you sop, make your friend Ocy see stars in the day time," she challenged him. "You can't k-k-kid me, o-o-old gal, I- "¦ v i el l .- 2S0 |