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Show SIMON DEGREE GETS THIRD LEGREE At frosh election time, a blonde freshman from East High, looking like a besmudged Arrow Collar ad, was elected to class presidency. But the neatly-knotted tie and the crisp, kempt color were just a blind for vote-getting ambitions. Once securely placed in office, Dale Blomquist's habits were bared to his disappointed classmates. As the weeks rolled by the shirt became a sweat-shirt and the collar became frayed, unbottoned, and curled at the points. The divorced collar button and hole were poorly concealed by a mammoth knot in a gravy-spotted, fruit-stained four-in-hand. This bit of flotsam and jetsam (Meadows, jetsam beer for the boys in the backroom) was only to perpetrate the disappointment for one quarter. Ineligibility proved to be a boon to the freshman class. What was once a brilliant satellite in the firmament of freshman celebrities is now naught but charred clinker. His scholastic standing, like his trousers, needed brushing up and flushing down. One thing led to another, until a point was reached at which neither the pants nor the scholarship could be salvaged. At this juncture (Lehi Juncture next stop) our hero fell into the clutches of the blood-sucking scholarship committee and with the approval of all, he passed into limbo, where he now lives on nuts and squirrels. Typical business class, growing beards in wait for professor. Blomquist searching for insect. Dear Miss Hardache: Does Mel still love me? For the past four nights I haven't been able to reach him on the telephone. I know his heart is in the right place so please help bring him back to me. Presumably, Aklene Daynes. Dear Distraught Mourning Bird: Received your letter while shaving this afternoon. Have you tried Doctor Fierce's Pleasant Pellets for Mel's liver. This never fails to bring a man around. Fashionably yours, Miss Isolva Hakdache- 347 |